A lot of worrying and anxiety whirls around lack of control. We can’t control X results, so we worry about it. We’re not sure how Y is going to turn out, so we worry about it. We want to change what Z is thinking or choosing or doing, so we feel anxiety.
The idea behind Worry Time
We do this although we know that worrying doesn’t help. Who doesn’t know that? So this is the cycle that starts: we worry about X, Y, and Z. And then we realize we’re worrying, so try to stop. Which leads to three things: first, we worry about X, Y, and Z even more because as soon as we try to stop, they dig in their heels and refuse to leave the confines of our mind. Second, we’re now also feeling anxiety about something new – the fact that we can’t stop worrying. And third, because we’re so focused on how we can’t stop worrying, we don’t get around to actually resolving X, Y, or Z.
A solution to worrying: Worry Time
A solution: taking a daily designated Worry Time. It’s delightfully simple, and take it from me, it works.
How to do Worry Time
Here’s how it goes:
First, set a designated time each day for about 15 minutes or so where you’ll focus on worrying about all the worries you have. Set your alarm to remind you. I set two alarms, so there’s no way I’ll miss the time.
Second, whenever you catch yourself worrying or ruminating or feeling anxious outside of Worry Time, record your worry in a notebook or on your phone, tell your mind that you will come back to it during Worry Time. And then go on with your day. When your mind starts to trust you to actually do this, it will become easier and easier to release worries during non-Worry Time.
Third, during Worry Time, go through all the worries and concerns your mind has raised since your previous Worry Time, plus any and all that come up during Worry Time itself. List every single one of then in a journal or notebook, then methodically go through them one by one and deal with them.
Deal with worries during Worry Time
When I say “deal with them”, I mean to write as much or as little in your notebook as you need to feel better about or resolve the worry, or even simply arrive at the next smallest step towards resolution.
An example – I have a tendency to underestimate how long it will take me to complete certain tasks, and as a result frequently worry about how I’m going to get everything done. For this type of worry, what I do during Worry Time is open up my calendar and physically move things around so I get the necessary work slots fit in.
For other worries, when I examine them under the objective light of Worry Time I see that they are situations out of my control (such as world events, or someone else’s reaction to me) and that while I may very well have strong feelings associated with them, worrying is not going to change anything. This is one of the benefits of Worry Time – by placing space between rumination and resolution, frequently you understand that the worry is not yours to deal with. All you really need to do is acknowledge and release.
Let Them
Regarding strong feelings about what someone else thinks or does, a book I have found to be extremely helpful in this regard is Mel Robbin’s “Let Them”. Reading “Let Them” has helped me better integrate the idea that trying to control others is futile; that the only thing I have control over are my own reactions and choices.
Worry Time has made a big change to my life. With it, I experience more calm and effectiveness. Calm, because during the day I feel confident that I’m actually going to be taking care of the things that worry me. Effectiveness, because by investing in just 15 scheduled minutes of Worry Time a day, I gain far more in return through having a clear and focused mind undistracted (most of the time) by worries.
Important tips
Tip #1 – Consistency Counts
Important to note: consistency counts. A big part of what helps your mind release worries easily outside of Worry Time is its trust that you will actually get to and deal with those worries. If you’re lackadaisical about keeping a consistent Worry Time, your mind may have a more difficult time trusting and releasing.
By “consistent”, I mean consistency according to your own schedule and personality, rather than “Sat-Sung’s way” just because that’s how I’ve explained it to you here. Listen to yourself – you know best for yourself what the most effective Worry Time looks like for you.
Tip #2 – Keep it Contained
Another important point: at the end of your designated period for Worry Time (mine is 15 minutes), put your notebook away, and continue on with the rest of your day. The idea of Worry Time is creating a structured container for dealing with your concerns, not a free-for-all where your worries have limitless time to run rampant and multiply.
How is Worry Time for you?
I would love to hear your experiences with Worry Time. Have you added (or detracted) a twist? Do share!
~ Sat-Sung
Here is a video ⬇️ about my own personal Worry Time practice. I would so love it if you shared with me what yours looks like.
A bit more about Sat-Sung: my passion and profession is all about supporting my clients who feel stuck, confused, or uncertain within a situation or relationship. I help you see what is really going on under the surface, including the patterns that are driving the situation, in a way that becomes clear and makes sense to you.
With this information you are then able to make accurate decisions and take appropriate action in relation to that situation or relationship.
Two of the main tools I use in this regard are Bach Flowers and Human Design for they are powerful, highly customizable tools that support lasting change. I like to combine Bach Flower essences and Human Design, but my clients also have the option of working with one and not the other. At times I also incorporate additional tools such as Essential Oils, intuitive readings, or Access Bars (energy) treatments.
I’d love to stay in touch. I invite you to join my Monthly Newsletter (yes, I send it out only once a month, and sometimes even less than that, to help you keep your inbox quiet) where I offer exclusive specials and useful and interesting tips. I invite you to join our community here: https://sparkle.sat-sung.com/52306/newsletter-en-0225
